Alison J Barton
April 2, 2025 / mascara / 0 Comments
Alison J Barton is a Wiradjuri poet based in Melbourne. Themes of race relations, Aboriginal-Australian history, colonisation, gender and psychoanalytic theory are central to her poetry. She was the inaugural winner of the Cambridge University First Nations Writer-in-Residence Fellowship and received a Varuna Mascara Residency. Her debut collection, Not Telling is published by Puncher and Wattmann. www.alisonjbarton.com / Instagram @alison_j_barton
Mirror
|
my mother had too much self to give |
she was a bear that couldn’t walk itself |
|
|
her residue a sulking weight we had to trail |
I think back now wondering who could see it |
|
|
her grief hauled from under the volume of her |
|
|
we ended up the way we knew |
|
|
both absent |
she, the citation |
|
|
I, the mirror |
I was called precious |
|
|
morphed into hate and rage |
I do and do not forgive her, |
|
|
I remember my reflection |
|
|
my life was an infancy of sound-gathering |
|
|
like an instrument archiving its vibrations |
I stored language for us both |
|
|
used it to fill in her gaps |
made myself sick and soft |
|
|
for what she carried, someone had to |
|
|
|
we experienced the storm together, tremors too |
she arranged the wreck |
|
|
the way I had to pay |
the shape of me |
|
|
indebted monster |
|
|
|
at the door, she would stand hoping it might open |
night would creep in and we wouldn’t talk |
|
|
affection was over |
I worried on what had been committed |
|
|
abandoning her in the light |
words formed and stuck to the back of my throat |
|
|
|
|
when I measured her |
I got an answer to a question I couldn’t comprehend, |
|
|
two troubled lives holding their wounds very differently |
both crashing into the heart of things |
|
|
|
some are lost forever learning to speak |
|
|
some have voices that shake walls, |
fill quiet rooms |
|
|
but a translation, solitude |
was my way of imagining inaudibly |
|
|
we desecrated together |
|
|
|
we needed to finish like this |
with an aching acid alcohol chest |
|
|
marched to an absolute equation |
the solution distorted then dawning |
|
|
on her trauma stage |
I am emptying my mother now |
|
#Issue 30